Today’s Grandparents Preserve Yesterday’s Ties

… a New Book Tells Us How 

Review by Susan Stewart

The American nuclear family, as defined by the iconic Leave It To Beaver and other television sitcoms during the 1950s and ‘60s is—more than half a century later—the exception rather than the rule. High rates of divorce, the emergence of “blended” families, single and same gender parenting, and a much more mobile society have all contributed to a dramatic redefinition of family. And the “extended” family as we once knew it—those eccentric aunts, feisty uncles, quirky cousins, and beloved grandparents who used to live nearby—has all but disappeared. Today’s grandparents are traversing entirely new territory, both literally and figuratively. And the distances can be daunting.

Long-Distance Grandparenting: Connecting with your Grandchildren from Afar offers a sturdy bridge for the many modern grandparents left wondering how they will adjust to this ever-shifting landscape. Award-winning author and grandmother for some twenty-five years, Willma Willis Gore has written a book that is entertaining, informative, practical, and poignant.

“All grandparenting experiences are not created equal,” writes Gore in the introduction. “Grandparents sometimes become rivals. Money can be scarce, time and transportation can be problems. Schedules conflict.” So Gore interviewed dozens of grandparents, their children and grandchildren and infused every chapter with their stories, often quoting them directly.  

Ten well-titled chapters, anecdotes with headings, and a comprehensive resources section steer the reader easily toward the most helpful sections. How does one, for example, deal with the concept of “rules” when parents and grandparents differ? Chapter 2, titled “Rules for Grandparents, Parents, and Grandkids” offers sound, effective guidelines.

What about the murky waters of giving advice? Try Chapter 4, “Risks and Rewards of Grandparent Advice.” What happens when grandchildren move overseas? One anecdote is headed, “When the Split Takes the Grandchild Far Away.”  

The practical importance of thank-yous, the reinvention of letter-writing, and the magic of the internet are explored. And a special chapter just for men offers often-neglected grandfathers unique methods for cultivating special ties beyond the usual fishing, fixing, and phoning.

The author also addresses the less tangible aspects of long-distance grandparenting, such as understanding that perfection is an impractical goal, that change is the only constant, and that knowing when to say “no” is crucial to preserving honest, loving relationships

Clashing grandparents, truculent teens, confusing messages, and sibling rivalry are all discussed, with practical, inventive, and thorough advice for each. Never preachy and far from sappy, Long-Distance Grandparenting is written with brevity, humor, and heart.

Its inclusive approach does not judge or even opine; rather it illustrates the many faces of grandparents today and addresses the change with stoic optimism.

Real-life solutions from authentic situations are the hallmark of this charming book. Long-Distance Grandparenting gives readers the feeling that anyone can find creative ways to establish and sustain a loving connection with their grandchildren—preserving and protecting one precious and irreplaceable relationship in the ever-changing face of the American family.

To order your copy, visit www.willmagore.com or contact Quill Driver Books / Word Dancer Press, Inc. at 559-876-2170.

Long-Distance Grandparenting: Connecting with Your Grandchildren from Afar
Copyright © 2008 by Willma Willis Gore
ISBN 1-884956-75-0

Susan Stewart is the proprietor of Say it Write, a professional copywriting, editing, and evaluation service. She is the author, co-author, and editor of diverse projects including advertising copy, book reviews, feature articles, film treatments, poetry, and biographies.
 

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